My dear (only-English-understanding) friends!
Sorry for writing so much stories in Estonian lately - I feel a little, that I'm letting you down.. But it's just, that most of the stories/feelings/impressions are so much connected to my cultural and personal background, that if I would write same stories in English - the texts would be ten times longer, because of the long explanations in between, why I think or say or feel the way I do. Plus - I have this strongly sarcastic way of expressing myself (as some of you might know! ;) and somehow I am afraid to provide it for reading to the whole world! I'm afraid to get misinterpreted by the people, who don't know me so well. So - it is more meant for my family and Estonian friends anyway - and they all do understand Estonian better.
So - this is my little explanation and sorry to you! :)
But lets get to the point! - I'm doing more or less fine. I was visiting "my father's" parents in remote village couple of days ago - and got experience of real Nepalese culture. Now I am back in Kathmandu again and must admit, that I really enjoy civilization! :) My everyday life is as usual: I go to the office from Sunday to Friday and try to accomplish at least something - in this slow-motion tempo! ;) It is really a very big lesson for me - to learn to wait and to be patient. In my "previous life" I was so much used to get everything ASAP and at the moment I had decided. Now there are other people deciding, when things will be done and I just have to adapt myself - and wait. Because of (or thanks to?) that I have enormous amounts of time to look around, feel and think. Yes-yes - sometimes I wish I hadn't! :) But if it is like this, then it is - and I have to believe, that it is good for some reason. We have to live in current moment - and accept it as it is.
Many people ask me, how I like Nepal - but I even don't know what to say.. I like Nepal very much, but not so much because of what is surrounding me - but because of what is going on inside of me. I think - I have written this thought to one of my friends already, but I will repeat it once more: Nepal will always have a very special place in my heart. It is My Time, My Growing, My Learning here.. But still - to be honest - I'm getting a little tired of this slow-motion, endless thinking and .. being alone. And although I planned to visit many more countries - I don't feel like continuing my travels right now. Without being able to share my experiences and thoughts, without being able to hold someone's hand - it is just so damn lonely! I want to have someone around. So - I think, I will return home to my family. You might not believe it, but I really prefer timber splitting at my grandparents' house rather than going to Maldives! And no - I will not regret it one day - as I just don't have the habit of regretting any of my decisions in life.
I will have a little summer vacation at home - and then maybe - after some time - I feel the urge to fly again! :)
I miss you all very much - and I thank you for your letters and messages and small notes you send to me! I smile always, when reading them - and thinking back about times, I have spent with you! :)